First Term of Second Year

First term is done – I can’t really believe it if I’m honest, its been a bit of a blur!!!

First week was instantly boom here we go. I remember year one we had that great talk from Kevin Dedmon about Core Values and a nice gentle intro but this year was straight in. We’ve looked at leadership and creating different structure for the things that God wants to do. My favourite talk of this year has probably been ‘Ministering by Grace’ by Joaquin Evans. He was like Man I don’t know how I got here, all I did was love Jesus. What I loved too was this guys authenticity, He was in 2nd year at Bethel and was describing how he was so mad about the books and work he was having to do and was so like I just want Jesus, and how he learnt what grace was in this season. Its funny because it describes what I feel may be how I am feeling right now too, like my grace meter for doing homework is 0% and I’m totally in complaining haha but its for my good and He is training me in the midst of all this.

We had the wonderful opportunity to go along to Fire conference as School and it was great just being reminded by Eric Gilmour what the true message of christianity is. To sit at His feet and adore. Yes we are to do, we are to go, but if we don’t adore, if we don’t look we will just be missing out on the main thing, the good part, the main point of the Christian Faith. Christianity is not about church, its not even about a prayer, it is the constant abiding and beholding of His face. Its learning to practise His presence and recognise Him which in a busy world and doing life is possible, its just being able to slow down, remember what matters, to wait upon the Lord. Not to wait for Him to come because He is already here, He is God with us but we need to have experience and learn to Wait upon Him. To literally be wrapped up in Him. John the man who confidently said I am John the beloved of Christ learned to lean upon Him. I think it even mentions in the bible about John being the one who leaned upon Jesus. Its this learning to wait upon Him that is critical to being a carrier of His glory and His person. I’ve noticed in my life there have been times I’ve been touched but noticed it fade away, man I even walked away from Him when I was about 20 years old. Why was that? Because as Eric puts it the public touch has to lead to the private Kiss. When no one else is looking, to enjoy Him, to just laugh with Him because He is pure delight, He is such Bliss, these aren’t just words, they are experiences in Him. I’ve found the past few months have been glorious for me, in the midst of life, such presence and glory has been touching me unlike anything I’ve experienced before a well of joy unlike anything I’ve experienced before, I don’t even really truly know why or what happened. A friend asked me, I’ve noticed a change, I was like well I think my focus for Him has become more central but to be honest I don’t even know how or why it happened it just changed. I am grateful for that and want even more.

Too often our churches are stiff, rigid, boring places, as painful that may be for us to hear. I love people. I love meeting people but if He’s not there the party is missing the main element. You can have the noise, lights, cameras, drums but without Him its just pointless. Its just crashing cymbals in the name of God when He himself wants to throw a massive party that may even look attractive to people! Jesus Hung out with Drunks, why? Was it possible they liked to be around Him because He was so much fun that they didn’t need there alcohol anymore to have fun. The Lord showed me a picture about a year ago during my first year, I was in a massive meeting of different church leaders, I was being introduced to different leaders outside and I was laughing and being looked at very strangely which made me laugh even more, I then went in and stood at the back with this man in white who I could not see but was laughing a lot who I believed to be Holy Spirit, as I watched this service the main crescendo went up and the main act introduced, it was some famous singer though I can’t remember exactly who, I think it was Gary Barlow haha but I watched these people all singing in this church meeting and there was one or two leaders who were enjoying the lord, you could see it, they were turned round looking at the figure beside me and laughing and rolling about, others just carried on like normal. I felt such a tug on my heart and it bought me to tears, such a wave of rejection that Holy Spirit felt from those ignoring him. It saddened me greatly, though earlier I was experiencing such delight standing with Him. I recognised this picture was of much of our churches, we need to get back to the simple beholding. The simple enjoying. Drop the programs. Drop your time limits. Drop the worship set even. Just behold, wait for Him, for in His presence is fullness of Joy.

My prayer is that lovesickness for Him, that He himself would come into our private times so much more, when no one else is looking, that we will be dunked, marinated and drunk forever in Him, to never leave that point but to continually drink in. Because it doesn’t have to be a mountain top experience, so often we leave moments but its not to be left, its too continue and to be something that gains momentum.

Blessings for you all and have a wonderful Christmas! C


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