Wow! What a year it’s been. I reflect back and can only think with tears in my eyes as I write this to you dear reader about the goodness of God through this past year. I remember we started second year and it was straight in and I have to be honest I wasn’t really engaging or enjoying the talks that we had, but I took onboard what I was hearing and am interested to see how that will play out in life. What brought me here is that sense of family but more than that, a hunger. A real genuine hunger and a hungry people for the presence of Jesus. There is nothing like His presence. It can not be explained or put into words. I will use the term beautiful though that doesn’t give full measure and meaning. I discussed only with a year two friend the other day about How I often tell Jesus, you don’t know what you feel like to me. He probably does but I feel His smile when I say this. Every time I mention these words it is as if I am being crushed but in a beautiful way, even as I write these words I feel that.
I couldn’t really write what are physical highlights for me, all I can think of is serving at Fire Conference and hearing a talk that changed my life – it was the mark of something new. The mark of engaging Him at maybe a deeper level than I’d known before. I remember the fragrances of honey that I smelt at the conference and these fragrances appearing every now and then throughout the year, the most recent being a fire. You could smell the fire and it wasn’t like a smoky fire. It’s hard to explain but those who have experienced this will know this. Seeing the visible glory as a cloud or as the gold dust and glory dust. These are the beginnings of something new for me. Even praying for people and seeing this manifestation happen to them. I don’t know who was blessed more me or them! But I just love it all. I love that sense of being with Him. Of valuing His presence. Of stillness before Him. It’s a rest and peace that is unexplainable, we sure sing the song but it’s totally different to experience this and I totally believe it is for everyday life.
I have looked at the Glory a lot this year and my internship is very much going to be building on this as we go from Glory to Glory. The word has begun to become more alive to me this year. That revelation of Christ in me the hope of Glory, it’s a verse we read, we have heard many times, but that revelation is to be birthed to come out of us like a big river flooding into the lives of people we meet. I don’t claim to have arrived. I can safely claim that I have grown, matured and I want to continue to do that, all my life. Not just at LSSM, it will be a life of learning. A life of going from Glory to Glory. And It is the same for you dear reader, it is Christ in you that is the hope of Glory. The flavour of Christ flowing through your life is too beautiful for you to hide away, come and spread that flavor of His Glory to all you meet. I will say this: some will receive you, some will not. That is ok. It is the same with the parable of the sower with the seed. Sow regardless, in due time a harvest will come.
I want to thank my fellow students, Simon, Celene and Rachel from Second year. These people are such Gems in my life, I’ve loved us being together through the great times and difficult stuff also. It is such a privilege to walk with you guys. I am excited to continue to walk with you all. Some of you into different nations of the world also.
I also want to thank Lauren again, who has spent countless time editing these, encouraging me, building me up, looking out for me and speaking into my life. She does it with such a love, a love that is pure, a love like His great love. I am grateful for the times you’ve pulled me up on stuff as well. I have loved the times we have sat and just enjoyed His glory this year. Thank you Lauren, you are amazing. I am so excited at the prospect of interning next year.
I will end this blog with a Psalm I wrote out of my own quiet time actually from year one but I’ll share it with you, it captures my heart being touched by Him, it’s a good drink;
Father I long to have more of you,
To be filled to overflow,
Regardless of cost, for cost doesn’t matter,
Where love is involved, no cost is ever too much.
Show me who You are,
Wake me in the midnight hours to hear Your whispering,
To feel Your closeness, for it’s a closeness that can be felt.
To feel Your heartbeat inside me,
The rhythm of heaven.
The rhythm of love.
God I must have more of Your presence, more of You!
Without Your presence I feel like a man on the run,
This man nervous, anxious, running away.
But oh, then, You appeared!
My lover, yes the One who loves me for who I am,
It is You. Oh You! You are the One for me.
Oh there is no other!
Oh Your presence bring tears to my eyes
Joy to my face,
Yes Your continence radiates as I know Your love.
Know me more, may I know You more.
I must have more, at any cost.